OBVIOUSLY, as you all know, today is April Fool's Day. A favorite day of mine. Last night before Tommy and I fell asleep, we were plotting what April Fool's pranks we might pull today. As most of you know, my sister Evie lives with us. We love Evie. She's sweet, tall, beautiful, funny and loves long walks on the beach (all eligible bachelors may submit applications by commenting on my blog). Anyways, she's also the most gullible person I know (besides her best friend, Alex) which made her my obvious April Fool's Day target. So as Tommy and I were falling asleep, we were contemplating what pranks to pull on her today. She stays up too late to complete my first prank choice. I wanted to duct tape her into her room...
So this morning after she left for school, her prank baby was born....asianmendating.com!! Tommy sent Evie an email from a bogus account that welcomed her to asianmendating.com and told her that soon she will be receiving emails WITH pictures from many Asian men looking for a White American woman! "We hope you enjoy our service and find the love you've been looking for blah blah blah..." He left for school and told me to keep an eye on the email account in case she responded to it at all throughout the day. Of course I welcomed the opportunity to take the reigns of this prank baby!
First, I created her first match, Shin Yu:
She didn't respond. So then I sent this:
Subject: Wanna Meet? From Shin
Message: Hello Evie Thompson, For your security Asian Men Dating is being a mediator between you and your match. Your match has sent you a message. We recommend before meeting that you get to know your Asian. Please read your Asian's message below and feel free to respond directly to this email account so you be sure your Asian securely and privately receives a message from you.
********BELOW IS YOUR MESSAGE*********
Hi Evie, My name Shin. I hope you interest in meet up. I so excited to see match with you on Asian Men Dating.com You believe fate? I do. I practice English with American friends in Dunkie Donut. You help me with English speak? I excite to see you. You picture very pretty. Your Truly, Shin
To respond to your match just reply to this email and we'll mediate for your security.
So THEN I created her second match, Ping Ki:
She still didn't respond. So I texted her. "Hey Ev! Have you gotten an account email from AT&T today? I got this email from Verizon saying smartphones couldn't receive emails today, are YOU getting emails today to your phone?"
Waited...waited...she responded: "OH MY GOSH! YES!!!! I'm getting these really weird emails from Yim Mim!!! I think I got hacked. I'm not opening them."
I thought to myself, ARGH FOILED!...Good job, TOMMY! You made the account name Yim MIM?!?!?!...he calls EVERYBODY MIMS! Dead giveaway. Welp. Not for EV! Prank continues.
I proceed to tell Evie to calm down, she must've just signed up for something that shared her email address with a spam site and to just unsubscribe. She responds to me and says "I'm not responding to YIM MIM...he sounds Asian and creepy." She must've opened her welcome letter from the Asian Dating Team...because soon after she writes "OH MY GOSH! This is a male Asian Dating SITE! I'm crying on the bus." I responded to her message and said "Just open the emails and unsubscribe. You must've signed up for something accidentally."
Meanwhile, I'm sitting in the rocker with Pennie snoozed out on my lap and I start laughing so hard I'm in tears crying. But holy CRAP! She's on her way home!?!?! She wasn't supposed to be home till 5:00pm! I've gotta hurry this prank baby up! So I put Pennie up in her crib and then sent THIS her last dating email from Hu Flung:
So Evie comes home shortly after, laughing SO hard she's in tears! I'm laughing AT her, but I think she thinks I'm laughing with her. Thank GOODNESS she was laughing when she got home, or I might've blown my cover.
She proceeds to read the profiles that say these men like things she likes "Trucks, ATV's, Beef Jerky..." Evie is like "LISA!!!!! I hope I'm being pranked. This is really creepy. These people KNOW ME!!! How am I going to tell DAD I'm on an Asian dating site!!!???!!"
Next, I decided that as soon as Evie was in on the secret, I was going to recycle this prank on her best friend, Alex. Approximately TWO SECONDS later she's on the phone...WITH ALEX. Telling Alex about this whole debacle. FOILED AGAIN...can't prank Alex.
Alex is the best friend EVER. She's laughing, but of course is very concerned for Evie. She tells Evie that she better find out where her profile has been activated online and deactivate it. Because who knows what else this profile says about "her." So Panicked Evie starts trying to find the website. WHO KNEW...there is an asianmendating.com!!!! So Evie gets onto this website AND ACTUALLY FILED A FORMAL COMPLAINT TO THE SITE telling them they violated her privacy and they were creeping her out because SHE DIDN'T AUTHORIZED signing up for this. (PS -- to file a formal complaint she had to give the site her email address....which they previously had no record of...oops.)
So this is the part where my jokes always go all CHELSEA HANDLER...I took it too far. I can't rewind the joke, I can't take anything back...but now she is getting legit worked up about the website BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY EXISTS...and SHE shared her information with them to file a complaint about her fake account...
So basically, this blogpost is my way of telling Evie...um...April Fools!? Evie is actually sitting next to me watching me crack up while I type. She keeps saying "Are you blogging about this?" Well yes, as a matter of fact I am...And to answer my original question of WHO is the APRIL FOOL NOW? Well, that would be me...I really need to plot out my big reveal (as The Joe Schmo Show would say). Please don't be mad Ev. I'm such a fool.
And not to worry, you don't have to find a way to tell Dad you're looking for an Asian Man. He can read about it here. Love you!